The question humanity has been asking since the middle ages and in my case, sometime since last week, is a simple question.  That is, what electronic toothbrush aka electric tooth brush, would Jesus use???  That answer my peeps is clearly the Oral B Electric Toothbrush.  With multiple speeds to meet your every need the brush can cleanse teeth just as Jesus so thoroughly cleansed our souls!

Peace is Made by You and Harrier Jump Jets!

Now I don’t want to ride the wake of Jesus too much.  But even without divine intervention it’s obvious manual tooth brushing, just as pirate ships and cheese whiz, has gone out the window.  Evidence from Modern studies clearly shows that brushing with an electronic toothbrush is undeniably more effective than using a manual toothbrush.  Not to mention we can now also say with certainty that pirates never ate cheese whiz.

The Oral B toothbrush is so awesome in fact that I’d pit it to win nine times out of ten when pitched against a Harrier Jump Jet!  Plaque just doesn’t stand a chance as the bristles feverishly yet not frantically vibrate back and forth at the speed of light (or closer there too then your manual brushing).  It’s also so gentle on your teeth and gums that it makes tinker bell’s cutesy little fluttering about look like another one of Rodey Colemen’s roid trips.

Get Out the Cave and Discover Electricity!

I spent a good 20 years in the dark without an electronic toothbrush and might as well have lived in a cave.  Life without the electronic toothbrush is like life without love and cute little bunnies.  You’ll go on living but it just plain sucks cause you cannot eat Hassenpfeffer.

Now on a more serious note, I know you have a quote unquote serious relationship with that brush the cute dental hygienist gave you 14 years ago but some things you just have to let go.  It’s no joke that your brush goes limp after 3 months so make sure and replace the heads (brush) on your new electronic toothbrush at least once every 3 months.  And quit stalking your dental hygienist she has sharp objects I know this from experience (primarily observational experience).

I Called Your Mom, She Said Buy the Brush!

Now there was that all that bad?  I mean you read an article written by a cracked out engineer that has turned to writing in a desperate attempt to avoid the slide rule.  Now buy a toothbrush and make him (and your mom) happy!

PS  I don’t endorse eating rabbits.  They are cute and furry.  I’d put this in fine print but cannot find the fine print…